Akatsuki Ink
by Synaps
Summary: Hidan decides to get a tattoo. Thanks to help from the resident artists, careful planning and a sample of blood he isn't the only one… Kakuzu is not amused.


Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

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WARNING: **Mental images, some nudity, but nothing graphic is described. Some minor injury, seeing as it's about tattoos and Kakuzu getting pissed. Bad language, because Hidan is in it. Nonsensical content.

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**Akatsuki Ink**

Hidan twirled the tiny vial of dark red liquid in his hand. It really was an ingenious idea. He had known from the start how his powers could be used in a fight, but the possibilities outside of action he had never even stopped to consider before.

He and Kakuzu had gotten into an argument about tattoos. Hidan himself thought they were awesome, partly because the beautiful pain they must inflict when gotten. Kakuzu had said, like he always did, no matter what subject was being discussed, that it was a waste of money. No opinion on whether they looked good or not, nothing. Hidan was throughout annoyed with his partner's lack of actual conversation.

So he'd decided he'd bring the subject a bit closer to home. After all, Hidan had a most amazing ability, but it had taken him a while to truly understand the opportunities it presented. He had never stopped to think until Sasori, of all people, suggested it. With Hidan's ability to transfer injuries to his victims it would be a simple thing to force Kakuzu into finally getting a tattoo. Surely Kakuzu would have an opinion on tattoos if he had one himself. If he could experience the wonderful pain he was sure to have something to say about it. All Hidan had needed to do was decide the motif.

At which point Kakuzu had actually been of great assistance.

Hidan had tested the subject and gotten the answer. To Kakuzu the only thing he could consider getting tattooed was the "holy" symbol of money.

As such Hidan had decided to get the Jashin symbol. Kakuzu needed to understand that there were things far more sacred than money, what could convince him more than a truly holy symbol appearing on his skin on its own accord?

The next problem had been where to put it. On the chest, under where his necklace hung? The back? On the upper arm?

He had thought about it a long time before choosing to place it somewhere it would not normally be seen when wearing clothes. A personal joke that nobody else would know about besides him, Kakuzu and the tattoo artists. He'd get the tattoo on his butt. Brilliant.

The only thing left was getting it done. He'd taken off in the middle of the night, as to not get caught. After all, Kakuzu was sure to object about the whole idea. But, as Hidan told himself, he had no reason to. It was a great "offer" - two tattoos for the price of one. Besides, he was using his own money to pay for it, the cost was minimal since he knew the artist. Though Kakuzu would probably say he should spend the cash on getting a shirt. He was so _prude_ sometimes.

Hidan had decided on the artist soon enough. A tattoo was meant to last forever, Sasori was the only choice. The creation of poisonous puppets required the same type of steady hand as a tattoo did. Deidara though, had been offended by being by-passed; he'd been very vocal about that.

He'd met up with both artists a few hours before dawn. They had decided to meet at the hotel where the two of them were staying. For once Sasori was out of the ugly puppet he used to wear, preferring a more human-looking form.

Right upon arrival he noticed how serious it seemed Sasori was taking the challenge. Deidara had probably dared him, or something stupid like that. It seemed to Hidan that basically everyone besides himself was acting weird in the oddest of situations. Not that he didn't want his tattoo to be seriously done, of course.

He sat down on one of the chairs, taking a paper from his pocket.

"I want this"

Sasori took the wrinkled note, seriously eyeing it. Deidara leaned over him, staring at it with an unmasked expression of disappointment.

"How boring, un"

"I was expecting more of a challenge." Sasori noted.

Hidan pouted his lips into a childish frown. "If you don't like it you can just go to..."

"I'll still do it, I never said anything else. I _do _need the money."

"Why?" he asked rudely, having thought about that for a while. They were all friends, right?

"Making puppets cost a lot. I put most on my income on weaponry. Everything else I can get on my own, either via looking through the forest for poisonous plants or by means of killing people." Sasori's voice was in a bored monotone, as if he didn't like explaining stuff as simple as that.

"Hey, do you have any experience with this..." Hidan started, suddenly worrying about the end result. It would be bad if it ended up looking like crap. After all, Sasori was _old_. There was a risk of popular phenomena like tattoos being a new thing to him.

"I do. My grandmother wanted a ninja pin-up for her birthday one year."

...

Hidan stared at him, relieved that Deidara also had a shocked expression on his face. Sasori looked completely serious, like he always did.

"Though I still don't know why she wanted me to make it a Konohagakure kunoichi, she always said she hated the Leaf. _Especially _Tsunade." Sasori mused to himself, not noticing their faces. "And the place she wanted it..."

"Enough! Un! The mental images will never go away!" Deidara yelled, placing his hand over the red-head's mouth. Sasori's eyes twinkled with pretended innocence and knowledge of the power he held over them.

"Could we get to work already?" Hidan groaned, not wanting to risk being caught by Kakuzu before the job was finished.

"Of course"

Hidan took the blood he'd collected while his partner was asleep and drank it quickly, turning black-and-white.

"What colour do you want?"

"Red, like a whorehouse"

"Odd association"

"No, un. It's perfectly normal."

"No, it's not"

"Is too"

"Is not"

"Is..."

"Shut up. So, Hidan. Where do you want... ah"

Hidan had already pulled down his trousers and lay down on the bed.

Sasori and Deidara both stared at him and looked away at the same time, their eyes darting back and forth.

"Incidentally, my grandmother..."

"Mental images, idiot!"

After the three of them had quieted down Sasori got to work with preparing the (self-made and a bit old) tattooing device.

"Is it going to hurt a lot?" Hidan asked, hopeful.

"It would be worse if I was over a bone." Sasori explained without losing focus on his work. "But the bones are not very close to the surface on the, ahem, _area_ you chose"

Hidan swallowed his disappointment. It would be more fun for it to be on the ass, so he'd just have to lose to win. He couldn't always get exactly what he wanted, after all.

"Come on Sasori, make me scream" he smirked.

Deidara snickered.

"Don't say that like we're doing something dirty." Sasori objected

"First of all, you'll be working his ass, how is that not dirty? Secondly, to him, pain probably_ is_ hot, un"

"Then he should just ask Leader-sama for help and have it over with. They share that idiotic fetish."

Hidan cursed at the time they were wasting by arguing, taking up a good ten minutes _without_ repeating himself. All parties were impressed.

Sasori seemed to consider calling the whole thing off, but ultimately decided against it. He really wanted an expensive curved blade for his latest project, and Kakuzu wouldn't let him move outside his budget. This was a way to get money _and_ revenge. He couldn't let an idiot like Hidan destroy it.

"Let's get this done and over with." he mumbled to himself.

"Will Kakuzu really get a tattoo? Won't he just get a scar, un?"

"Yeah, but it is fucking worth it." Hidan explained, grinning.

Sasori got to work, and it did still hurt a bit. Hidan was thrilled.

As they had bickered all night, the sun had already risen when Sasori finished. Hidan inspected the work with a smile. He was pleased, but the final test was yet to come. What would Kakuzu think? They way Hidan saw it; he would be surprised if his partner wasn't as happy about it as he was. It was a gorgeous piece of art, with lots of shading that added depth.

Deidara disagreed about the art part, obviously.

Sasori seemed proud, even as he threatened to poison Deidara.

Hidan was happy.

Kakuzu on the other hand looked extremely unhappy as he swung the door to the hotel room open, clutching his behind with his free hand.

"You... idiot..."

"Wow Kakuzu, you really found me quickly!"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"We both know you can't, so why don't we just..."

Kakuzu jumped him, finding grip around the immortal's throat and crushing the unspoken words before they came. He pulled Hidan up into the air.

"You know, if you try to kill him you'll be hurting yourself." Sasori noted as Kakuzu found himself having trouble breathing. "He's got your blood."

"But..."

Kakuzu twitched at the word even as he said it, mostly because of the similarity to the name of the body part which he was experiencing a lot of pain in right now. Hidan noticed that and snickered loudly.

"Are you sure you want to kill me? We'll get _behind_ schedule on capturing the tailed beasts. _Butt_ I suppose you don't care about that _ass_ long _ass _you get money. And..."

Kakuzu threw him out the window.

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I wanted to make this mostly about Hidan, but Sasori and Deidara are my favourite Akatsuki. They just showed up and took over. It really wasn't my fault (ahem), really.

Oh yes, Chiyo's tattoo is of Tsunade, if it wasn't obvious enough. Sorry about the mental images. I wrote it to get some other mental images out of my head. You can probably image how bad they were considering how Chiyo's tattoo is a better option.


End file.
